When This Was Now

Though it’s calm, I sense a storm approaching

I’m in a meadow, the sun is shining

My long blonde hair is blowing in the breeze

I’m happy, I’m young, completely carefree

In this flowing dress, I feel beautiful

And, this time around, I’m also grateful

There’s a stream of water, not very deep

Ambling through this meadow that’s lush and green

How I’m back in this moment, I can’t say

Here, I’d not known I’d remember this day

Now that I’ve returned, I’m savoring it

For, flawed as I am, I’m also perfect

I’m innocent, untouched by life’s lessons

Which was only seen when this became then

I watch the stream merge into another

I follow its journey to the river

I’m alone but sense a presence near me

Which, when this was now, I’m sure I’d not seen

I’m tempted to berate my ignorance

But that would dull this moment’s radiance

Something’s happening that hadn’t before

There’s mud flowing as though during a storm

I’m watching the water rapidly rise

Then look up, there’s not a cloud in the sky

Slowly, I’m beginning to understand

I rise and scurry, seeking higher land

But high, I soon see, isn’t high enough

I’m running, but running uphill is tough

As I feel the water on my bare feet,

I’m frightened I’ll soon be facing defeat

I’m hearing his soft voice calling my name

Telling me to trust and not be afraid

“You don’t have power to outrun this storm

For this one’s unlike those you’ve seen before

Surrender and just allow it to pass

For where you’ll soon be, it already has”

In-Between

Stuck in a hopeless situation

She’s calling for help between dimensions

How she arrived there, I’m starting to see

As a vision starts opening to me

She’s in a forest, which is no surprise

For that’s typically where vortexes hide

Obviously, she’s not been there before

For if she had, she’d know what was in store

This uncertain place, called the in-between

Where many unsuspecting souls have seen

Can feel dark and desperate, lacking all hope

Void of the vibrance of life they had known

Since it’s me who hears her desperate pleas

I’m aware this assignment is for me

Realizing I have no other choice,

I allow my mind to follow her voice

I’m observing her, though she’s unaware

As my form has not manifested here

For what Spirit is conveying to me

One must surrender before they can see

Though my soul is yearning to rescue her,

I can see, with that, no growth can occur

The storms roll through, denial then anger

Finally, softening to surrender

At first, I’m just a voice in her mind’s ear

One she’s not certain she believes she hears

Persistence is how I stay in this game

As she believes, then believes she’s insane

Then, each time she believes, she believes more

Soon, there won’t be disbelief anymore

At which time the darkness will fade

Replaced by light in this in-between space

Eventually, the door will open

Where she can enter a new dimension

A place where she will finally be free

And be the goddess she’s destined to be

                                             Jody Nelson

Coyote Cave

I begin today like most other days

And head out on a hike to meditate

Coyotes block my path, “You can’t pass here

We’ve been told to send you hiking down there”

I followed their gaze pointing to the wash

“Go that way, if hiking is still your wish”

I wanted to argue, but what’s the use,

They’re just doing what they’ve been told to do

I stepped into the wash, annoyed as hell

Having a pity party for myself

About then, a flash of light caught my eye

And I quickly snapped my gaze to the right

The oddest sensation came over me

As I wandered that way impulsively

Somehow, I felt that I’ve been here before

And pushed through the thick brush to explore

When I saw it, it stirred a memory

But to my recollection, that can’t be

It’s a cave with tunnels beneath the earth

I enter without fear of getting hurt

It feels I’ve done this a gazillion times

I cruise through the dark, not needing my eyes

My legs move along as though they’re possessed

Forcing my ego to take a recess

“Let go of what makes sense and just allow”

I heard scampering through my thoughts somehow

From right here, seeing no other option,

I succumbed to my imagination

First, what I noticeably realized

Though it makes no sense, I’m seeing more light

It feels comforting, like a warm blanket

All aspects of my soul are drawn to it

Something else started occurring to me

Either I’m deaf or there’s absolute peace

The noise of my world I’m accustomed to

Has been magically, somehow put on mute

Just like my eyes, my ears start to adjust

I hear nature’s music through the forest

In this peace, I start hearing something else

Thoughts in my mind I’m not thinking myself

I’m told I’m tuned into their frequency

Which had me thinking, “Well, that’s rude of me”

I hear them laughing then say, “No, you’re fine

You’ve tuned into us because we’re your tribe”

I moved through places I’ve seen in my dreams

Which made me think, “Shit, maybe I’m asleep”

Just then I got an odd confirmation

“This and your dreams are the same vibration”

Everything was here, including the wall

A reminder of my world’s brutal fall

An event that is still yet to take place

Where my world goes through the destruction phase

And it’s a big deal, the slate is wiped clean

To build something new, that’s what needs to be

I step into my role within this tribe,

Allowing my intuition to guide

A lesson, lately that’s begun to sprout,

I now realize what it’s all about

Each soul’s gifts are uniquely customized

Drawn from various sources through their lives

I sense my programming unraveling

For what’s not possible is happening

And this parallel dimension I’m in

Feels as though I’ve been welcomed home again

Days to weeks to months, they were flying by

Something kept calling me from my old life

I acknowledge my nirvana is here

So why I’m called to return isn’t clear

I cruise the tunnels in automation

As though I’m returning from vacation

It’s been so long; they must presume I’m dead

And how that plays out churns through my head

The cave’s opening comes will within view

I feel a sudden shift as I step through

A familiar chime grabs my attention

I guess my cell phone just got reception

Nervously, I begin to draw my phone

“Shit, how long has it been since I’ve been home?”

My thoughts were spinning in all directions

Trying to conjure an explanation

A text from my best friend and then nothing else

Nobody’s tried to find me?  What the hell!

I press for the date, how long has it been?

And realize my phone must be broken

Just inside the cave, my phone must have quit

In there, I was oblivious to it

Needing a discreet way to verify,

I google for the current day and time

With what shows up, I couldn’t help but gasp

To my best guess, just minutes had elapsed

I turned to the cave, the entrance is gone

As a thought stirs, “It’s time to move along”

                                                            Jody Nelson

Predators

I feel like I’ve just entered a fairy tale

As I’m trying to take in each detail

There’s splendor I’ve not realized before

As I journey along this forest floor

Before here, was dark in comparison

Lacking the luster of this location

A place that offered no reason to hope

Where my soul felt abandoned and alone

I’m so enamored I don’t consider

That there could possibly be danger here

Right on cue, my ego awakens

Feeding me that bull shit story again

“Proceed with caution, be very aware

There’s vipers and predators everywhere!

They can sense your insecurity and fear

Since you know you don’t deserve to be here”

But today I sense an intervention

I feel Spirit summons my attention

“Enough is enough, you make us weary

When you believe this destructive story!

“You entered life with a contract in place

Your memory of before was erased

Your desire was to experience

Low self-esteem, self-love and confidence

“From before your birth, you orchestrated

Who will star in this life you created

There were many willing to assist you

Providing you obstacles to work through

“Clearly, this was a challenging lesson

Since it has returned again and again

But life is a gift so don’t waste it

And start rising above all this bull shit

“Those predators and vipers you perceive

Only have power because you believe

That they’re stronger, more powerful than you

And their judgement determines what you do

“But look closer, see them for whom they are

Backup players to support you, the star

Thank them all for playing their roles so well

They were convincing, even to themselves”

I obeyed, one by one I thanked them each

For all their efforts in strengthening me

They worked hard using intimidation

Judgement, mockery and domination

Spirit whispers, “Now look at them once more

See if they appear the same as before”

I do and am alarmed at what I see

Their venom had little to do with me

By putting me down, it made them feel tall

Since, in their eyes, they see themselves as small

If I stayed distracted, I wouldn’t see

That they’re riddled with insecurity

What a messed-up cycle this has become

It’s time to state, “Let this lesson be done”

And now for practical application

I’m given this gift for graduation

I proceed through this forest, cautiously

More than aware of eyes looking at me

I tell myself, “There’s no reason to fear

For I, like them, deserve to pass through here”

Up ahead, I see dancing in the light,

Beautiful beings that gracefully glide

Theirs a gift I’d always admired

But one that my soul never acquired

I stayed in the shadows watching this scene

As musicians began surrounding me

On one side, athletes illuminated

Then singers and many more were highlighted

Then they all stopped as he walked toward me

I felt nervous sitting in this hot seat

He said, “Take a look at everyone here

And know they, too, have experienced fear”

I did, they all appeared so confident

I can’t fathom anything different

“They all arrived in this enchanted place

By overcoming doubts they also faced”

Their heads were all nodding in agreement

“Here they thrive without concern of judgement

Though the gifts you possess may not be theirs

They’re eager for you to join them and share”

They’d all returned to the passion of their souls

Since they believe it, they are beautiful

Their high vibration elevated me

I wanted to join in their reverie

I was handed a pen, began to write

As I, too, found myself in a spotlight

As my fear of other’s judgement withdrew

My ability and confidence grew

End Before End

I had come for him, but she saw me first

Annoyed at myself, I audibly cursed

She said, “What in the hell are you doing

Sneaking around our home while we’re sleeping?”

I pointed to her form, still deep asleep

“Because you’re very evolved, you see me

I’m a gate guide, but I’ve not come for you

It’s his time and I’ve come to guide him through”

She looked at her partner then back at me

“I know that is true, but I’m not ready

I don’t know if I know what I should do

With the challenge I’m about to go through”

I smiled, gathered her in a deep embrace

Then whispered, “You’ll grow with what you’ll soon face

Though you likely won’t recall what you see

Let your feelings calm your anxiety

“Now, quiet yourself, move deeper inside

While I take you on a spiritual ride”

I waited, holding this high vibration

Rejoiced, when she reached this elevation

A much wiser version of her appeared

The same one that, before there, had lived here

She recognized me, our lights intertwined

We lingered for a period of time

She pulled back, “I know my life is written

And complete revelation is forbidden,

But I’m sure I left a loophole or two

To see a hint of what I’ll soon go through”

I acknowledged she understood it right

It’s why, I now see, we’re here in the light

I’ve never assisted a life preview

But Spirit said, “This is what you must do”

She waited, knowing her recollection

Would appear an encoded edition

I revised the thought I whispered before,

“Let how you feel be your indicator”

I showed an old friend she’s known a long time

Wanting to help and be part of her life

To his dismay, she ventures out, alone

Wanting, needing to do this on her own

Navigating through unexpected grief,

Comprehending this new reality

Becomes an incredible weight to bear

But she must push forward, move on from there

She learns to seek guidance, which way to go

Venturing, bravely, into the unknown

She’ll arrive in places she’s known before

They’ll invite her to visit them once more

Ah, but this time, she’ll have much wiser eyes

See other options she’s not realized

When her journey leads her back to her friend,

She realizes her choice was always him

I watched her light as I closed the preview

She turned toward me with sadness, “Thank you

I’ve seen my life is about to suck ass

But later, I find happiness at last

“This feeling I have, please let me retain

To help me stay strong when my belief wanes”

I replied, “Here’s what I’ll promise to you

It will wait, write it down to refer to”

She understood then said she was ready

To return, next to him, in her body

As we approached, we noticed something strange

Her partner had just witnessed our exchange

There was nothing but love, that he conveyed

As he, too, saw the preview as it played

“Without me, you’ll be allowed to strengthen

Then you’re potential will start flooding in”

There was a sweetness as they said good-bye

Before his transition into the light

He said, “For this life we’ve shared, I thank you

Everything strengthened me that we went through”

This next part, for me, has always been hard

Telling them it was time for them to part

The three of us shifted into her dream

She remained while he departed with me

She watched us as we faded out of sight

Though heartbroken now, she would be alright

She woke from her sleep, his body was dead

Crying, she tried to recall what we’d said

                                            Jody Nelson

One Last Time

The alarm on her phone began to chime

Indicating it’s time to rise and shine

She lingered a bit in contemplation

Of her dream with the strange visitation

Trying to recall seemed to make it fade

All that was certain, it made her feel great

Like floating on a cloud, wrapped up in love

Ascending higher to somewhere above

Her eyes opened with the snooze alarm sound

Slowly, she sat up, her feet touched the ground

Perplexed, as my thought trickled in her head

“This is the last time you’ll get up from bed”

The thought’s absurdity made her chuckle

Thinking, “If only it were that simple

But my to-do list feels like ten miles long

And, sadly, right here is where I belong”

In the kitchen, she started the coffee

A whisper of thought came, again, from me

“Slow down and savor your last moments here

For the time they’ll be gone is very near”

She took a breath, not wanting to freak out

Hoping this just a prompting to slow down

While the coffee brewed, she meditated

A daily practice, she’s cultivated

I quietly watched her peaceful venture

Calming her mind while watching her breath work

When she was ready to open her eyes

She paused, for I had materialized

“You see me here in this high vibration

Don’t be alarmed by my visitation”

I continued, “Today, I’ll come for you

Be mindful, appreciate all you do”

There was calm, then logic took her away

She shook me off as she began her day

As she showered, I kept nagging her thoughts

“Be present, enjoy this before it’s lost”

Her thoughts shot back at me, “I’m not afraid

I don’t believe you, but I’ll play your game

I’ll appreciate all I’m able to

But know, I still don’t trust or believe you”

She savored the hot water on her skin

And her soap’s sweet smell, as she breathed it in

She dried with her towel, expressed gratitude

For all she has and for all she’s been through

One last time, she chose her clothes, mindfully

“I want to look my best when they find me”

For breakfast, the diet was tossed aside

“I’ll eat what I want since it’s my last time”

She viewed the long list of tasks to complete

Pay bills, laundry, shopping for groceries

Refill a prescription, call the doctor

“Since it’s my last day, this will be ignored”

She called her best friend, “Let’s go out to lunch

To somewhere expensive we don’t go much

Don’t worry about money, it’s my treat”

While thinking, “Since it’s the last time for me”

She scheduled a massage, because why not?

This last day should include time at the spa

She planned nothing further after this treat

That way, she can linger in luxury

“It’s a warm spring day, I think I’ll just walk

And smile at everyone I meet,” she thought

Just before she left, I nudged her once more

“Leave a note before you walk out the door”

She stopped short, “You’re right, I need to do that

He is the best part of this life I’ve had”

She wrote, “I love you, you make me happy

I’ll see you soon, forever yours, love me”

She allowed plenty, so she took her time

The sunshine and gentle breeze felt sublime

Each passerby, she greeted cheerfully

Thought, “In this moment, I feel so happy”

She got to the restaurant with time to spare

So, chose to people-watch while waiting there

Her friend arrived, they dined in decadence

With her friend concerned she’d lost her good sense

Instead of interrupting, to be heard,

She listened, with interest, to her friend’s words

She was genuine when they parted ways

“Know I love you, forever and always”

She savored her massage on this last time

Feeling relaxed from the glass of red wine

She let her thoughts just wander as they may

Questioning, “Is this really my last day?”

During her massage, she pondered again

If this was her last day, how would it end?

Of course, behind that thought, crept in the doubt

“That’s not real, what am I stressing about?”

She left the spa feeling refreshed, renewed

And with less stress on board, a bit subdued

While crossing the street she was unaware

The car turning right, didn’t see her there

While wrapped in my light, she watched it happen

Trying to comprehend this was the end

The driver that blew the stop sign too fast

Which caused her death, would have to live with that

She watched her loved ones before her review

Smiled when they said, “Somehow, I think she knew”

She said, before slipping into the light,

“Thank you, my last day was perfectly right”

                                                       Jody Nelson

Normal

I stopped, pretended I am who I am

For right now, I don’t adhere to the plan

No schedule, no expectations to meet

Nothing demanding anything of me

What would I truly desire to do

If I left my life, completely withdrew?

What if fear of judgement wasn’t a thing?

Would it alter the way I am living?

What of fear of failure, does that play in?

What if that concept, too, came to an end?

What if there is hidden strength inside me

That I’ve ignored, opting for what’s easy?

I felt Spirit’s nudging, “Go on, explore

The true you should no longer be ignored”

There’s a sudden surge of motivation

In continuing this exploration

So, which desires are hard-wired in

And which have been programmed expectations?

Are they my expectations or another’s

Or my perception that they’re another’s

Each segment of my life I examine

I see I’ve abandoned me to fit in

To the point where I’m completely unsure

What’s me?  What’s not?  The lines have been blurred

I feel Spirit sensing I’m overwhelmed

“Quiet, with patience, your truth will be found

It took your lifetime to make you this way

Change will require more than one day

“To unveil who it is you truly are,

Looking behind you is not where you start

And the path ahead has no guarantees

Where you begin, is in this breath you breathe

“What you’re doing, right now, does it bring joy

Or are you resentful, angry, annoyed?

Examine your emotions, how you feel

Anything, but joy, keeps your truth concealed

“Though you’re all one, each soul has uniqueness

Which only means normal doesn’t exist

The concept of normal is ignorance

And pushes everything out of balance

“There’s illustrations of this everywhere

Control strengthens when concepts are shared

Nutrition, medicine, education

And what to believe through religion

“Know, at first, you’ll be met with resistance

But don’t give in, maintain your persistence

‘Let your freak flag fly high,’ the saying goes

Where you honor your truth, happiness flows

                                      Jody Nelson