The following is not meant to judge, blame
or offend. It is merely a reflection of
my evolution to an older, wiser woman
The truth is
not always convenient
Each perspective
can appear different
When each
party chooses to stand their ground
Anger and
resentment often abound
As I child,
I thought my mom a monster
As a teen, I
believed I hated her
I was sure
my punishments were unjust
Since I’m
adopted, she must hate my guts
Enlightenment
came as a child one day
My partner’s
daughter stepped on my pathway
I was ill
prepared for a parent role
And failed
miserably, or so I’m told
I birthed
one girl, adopted another
To each, my
title held the word “mother”
As time passed,
I understood my mom more
Becoming a
mom had evened the score
My girls
have each come to me as adults
Feeding me
servings of parenting guilt
I want to dispute
each one’s perspective
But realize
that my words aren’t effective
Recently, in
our phone conversation,
My mom said,
“I tried hard, but I’m human
I made mistakes
that I regret deeply”
Showing
another perspective to me
Some days
were rough, and some were amazing
My temper
flared up over many things
Perhaps I
was tired or really stressed
My coping
skills, probably not the best
The youngest
is my adopted daughter
Who portrays
me an absolute monster
My
perspective is very different
Perhaps I
gained momentum as I went?
She just had
her first, so now they’re all moms
I wish them
well as I pass the baton
They still
harbor resentment in degrees
The youngest
swears she’ll never be like me
Perhaps my
example will break the chain
They’ll
parent their children the perfect way
Their
children will only recall the good
Their
parenting won’t be misunderstood
For the
record, I have four boys as well
Who each did
their share of making life hell
But none of
them have ever shared with me
Their own
perspective of disharmony
The unbelievable
truth, we’re human
Perception
clashes are bound to happen
I bow to my
mother who did her best
Who raised
four children with single-mom stress
I turn to my
daughters, bow to them too
Pray, though
they will, your kids never judge you
For the
mistakes I made, I apologize
Perhaps, my
perspective they’ll realize
Jody Nelson
