Thursday, February 8, 2018

Unbelievable Truth


The following is not meant to judge, blame or offend.  It is merely a reflection of my evolution to an older, wiser woman

The truth is not always convenient
Each perspective can appear different
When each party chooses to stand their ground
Anger and resentment often abound

As I child, I thought my mom a monster
As a teen, I believed I hated her
I was sure my punishments were unjust
Since I’m adopted, she must hate my guts

Enlightenment came as a child one day
My partner’s daughter stepped on my pathway
I was ill prepared for a parent role
And failed miserably, or so I’m told

I birthed one girl, adopted another
To each, my title held the word “mother”
As time passed, I understood my mom more
Becoming a mom had evened the score

My girls have each come to me as adults
Feeding me servings of parenting guilt
I want to dispute each one’s perspective
But realize that my words aren’t effective

Recently, in our phone conversation,
My mom said, “I tried hard, but I’m human
I made mistakes that I regret deeply”
Showing another perspective to me

Some days were rough, and some were amazing
My temper flared up over many things
Perhaps I was tired or really stressed
My coping skills, probably not the best

The youngest is my adopted daughter
Who portrays me an absolute monster
My perspective is very different
Perhaps I gained momentum as I went?

She just had her first, so now they’re all moms
I wish them well as I pass the baton
They still harbor resentment in degrees
The youngest swears she’ll never be like me

Perhaps my example will break the chain
They’ll parent their children the perfect way
Their children will only recall the good
Their parenting won’t be misunderstood

For the record, I have four boys as well
Who each did their share of making life hell
But none of them have ever shared with me
Their own perspective of disharmony

The unbelievable truth, we’re human
Perception clashes are bound to happen
I bow to my mother who did her best
Who raised four children with single-mom stress

I turn to my daughters, bow to them too
Pray, though they will, your kids never judge you
For the mistakes I made, I apologize
Perhaps, my perspective they’ll realize


                                                       Jody Nelson

Thursday, January 4, 2018

This Photograph

This photograph’s never been taken
Nor has its story ever been written
This snapshot from here, observing below
While co-creating of how it will go

She approached me before she left here
With a proposition for me to hear
“I need help, I was directed to you
To help me with something I need to do”

I watched her, noticing her nervousness
Whatever this is, it’s causing distress
I truly adore this sister of mine
Our souls have bonded throughout all of time

“What I’m offering, for us, will be rough
You want to know not feeling good enough
Your desired challenge to overcome
Your life could start as the discarded one

“You see, my desire, to know heartbreak
Pressure to give someone I love away
To be forced to make a hard decision
Then free myself from an anguished prison”

I’d already perceived what she wanted
But part of her journey was to say it
“In the event I don’t turn this around,
Will you be my daughter I adopt out?”

I’d worked hard, my Earth-life was pre-designed
Her scenario worked perfect with mine
I hugged my sister, “Of course I’ll do this
I trust no one else to give me this test”

I missed her when it was her time to go
I watched her navigate her life below
Everything for my debut was aligned
A passionate moment at the right time

As my body was beginning to grow,
I visited often to say, “Hello”
I held my tormented mom in her dreams
While she lamented about losing me

The time of my body’s birth had arrived
I witnessed it from my home in the light
She’s not solidified her decision
My destiny had unclear direction

She closed her eyes, slipped into a deep sleep
Her sad soul ventured out in search of me
I’d been out doing my spiritual chores
When I saw her arrive through Spirit’s door

I laughed when she scolded me, “What the hell?
You’re supposed to be in the hospital!”
“I find it boring to be a baby,”
I said, “The Spirit plane better suits me”

She shook her head, trying to hide a smile
“Just know, this is how you’ll know you’re my child
Your dreams will show things before they happen
When intuition speaks, you must listen

“As you know, these are gifts I possess too
And to show my love, I gift them to you”
I looked at her, “Your decision’s been made
I know you’ve already sent me away”

With no more control, she burst into tears
“Your life is starting, you shouldn’t be here”
I hugged her, “We will always have this space
Promise me, we’ll meet often in this place”

She nodded, “Every year, on your birthday
Our souls will connect in this special way”
I tearfully hugged my sister good-bye
And journeyed to earth to begin my life

Although it has faded over the years,
This photo reminds me of why I’m here
My life provided opportunities
In abundance, of my lacking for me

Life kicked my ass and almost took me down
She came when she was no longer around
She picked me up, said, “You were there for me
Consider this my opportunity

“Don’t you ever forget where you came from
When I fell apart, you stayed the strong one
Thinking you’re not good enough is bull shit
You’re a spirit goddess, so act like it”

This last chapter is still being written
I’m working hard to give it a great end
As I tuck this photo back in my thoughts,
I’m grateful for the memory it brought

                                                            Jody Nelson

Thursday, November 9, 2017

I Can't Sleep!!

Just a little teaser.  This may or may not have something to do with the book I'm writing.  Jai!

I’m lying on my side, facing the wall
One thirty a.m., I can’t sleep at all
He taps on my shoulder, I turn around
He’s here, as always, having made no sound

My heart skips a beat at the sight of him
With that damn smile, he’s even MORE handsome
“Hi Love, what brings you my way tonight?”
I open my arms and we embrace lights

“Spirit has work we’re requested to do
And I was informed, I must collect you”
“That doesn’t work, tonight I need my sleep
I’m wide awake, it’s only one thirty!”

He said, “Suit yourself, I’ll sit here and wait”
I pulled my blanket up and turned away
Still no sleep, as his thoughts mingled in mine
Two hours pass, this is a waste of time!

“Okay, fine!  Go ahead, be the victor!”
We laugh at the joke (for his name’s Viktor)
“Apparently, with you here, sleep eludes
So, go ahead, I’m yours, take me with you!”

“I’m glad you understand my way is right”
Smart ass.  As we’re moving toward the light
“I heard that,” our speed gaining momentum
Through space, time and numerous dimensions

Everything is white, blanketed in snow
We have opposite directions to go
“I’ll see you, real soon, on the other side”
He kissed me, I said, “Until then, goodbye”

I closed my eyes, said, “Spirit, please lead on”
I was then guided to where I belong
A broken wagon with shit strewn about
A woman, in a blue dress, on the ground

She hears me, opens her eyes, sees me there
“Oh, thank heavens, you have happened by here!”
I shook my head, what the hell did she say?
Letting my mind think sure gets in the way

“Sure, right, but please tell me what’s happened here”
“I will, after you help me up, my dear”
“Absolutely!  Come join me in the light”
I extended my hand, “No, that’s not right!”

She paused, gathered herself before she said,
“No, please, no, I’m not ready to be dead!”
I smiled, “You’re not dead, you’re coming to life!”
Sadly, “My husband and I had a fight

“He told me to stay, took the horse for help
I was angry, my last words, ‘go to hell’
You see, If I’m not here when he returns,
The last thing he’d heard were my angry words”

Her body, shutting down from the cold snow
“You’ll have no choice once your body lets go
As your gate guide, here’s what I’m offering
Your release from physical suffering”

She still resisted, “Damn, girl, what the hell?”
I sure do love Spirit’s translation help
Finally, her body shut down, let go
She moved to me in a magnetic flow

Her pain disappeared, everything felt right
And we began lifting toward the light
We arrived where she’d have her life review
His sexy voice, “I’ve been waiting for you”

“Who, may I ask, is that?” she inquired
“Why, I’m with her!”  He jokingly answered
Smart ass.  “Actually, someone’s here for you”
He stepped aside, “Oh, Henry, you’re here too!”

She ran to him, “Alice, please forgive me”
“No, I’m asking YOUR forgiveness, Henry”
Their souls merging in a passionate kiss
Viktor turned, “I don’t think we should watch this”

I laughed, “Let’s save this for later, you two
Right now, it’s time for your Earth-life review”
Upon completion, we went to the light
They left our presence and now he’s all mine

He’s kissing me, his fingers in my hair
That we’re traveling, I’m barely aware
“Open your eyes,” I did, I’m back in my bed
“This is gonna suck for you, sleepyhead

“You wasted two hours resisting me
If you hadn’t you’d have gotten more sleep”
I looked at the clock, he laughed as I gasped
Since I left, only five minutes had lapsed

“Shit, this is gonna blow come afternoon”
Another kiss, “I’ll be thinking of you”
“Mmm, I have some time, please say you can stay”
“No, my love, I hear the call of your day”

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Come Get Me

There was no question she knew it was right
And came with me in the blink of an eye
The question that was asked by her partner
She was no longer able to answer

We watched as he turned and ran to her side
It was too late, she had already died
She tried desperately to make him aware
But his mortal eyes couldn’t see her there

This was his journey, the path that he chose
To learn to trust that which he didn’t know
His friends stayed close as he mourned his lost love
As she, too, hovered with him from above

In this spiritual realm, none are the same
Though her body was dead, she asked to stay
She stayed with him while he raised their child
And cruised his dreams every once in awhile

After a time, he finally made peace
His anger with Spirit started to cease
He closed his eyes, said, “Sweetheart, are you there?
I miss you so and feel you everywhere!

“Our babe is grown, I believe I’m ready
To come home with you so please come get me”
I nodded consent and opened the gate
She smiled at me, “This is gonna be great!”

A man died in his sleep who’s seldom ill
He was found there, his body cold and still
While loved ones gather to mourn his death
Their reunion is the absolute best

                                                       Jody Nelson


Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Possibilities

Feel the cool air on your shoulders and face
That’s Spirit reminding you to have faith
Now, it’s time to close your eyes and listen
Trust, allow, surrender, and be lifted”

I hear your instructions, I want to heed
Even though logic is frightening me
You’re here beside me, give the thumbs-up sign
Say, “Soften, trust, you’re going to be fine”

I’ve been eagerly awaiting this ride
That is not one single word of a lie
Memories of before start gearing up
“Remember when your faith wasn’t enough?”

Images flash of my repeated fails
Just when Spirit’s breeze was filling my sails,
My controlling mind frantically yelled, “Jump!”
Then into the nothingness, I was dumped

Suddenly, the cool breeze begins to blow
You see my resistance, you nudge, “Let go”
My mind asks to hitch hike this ride as well
You smile, “It’s fine if you can behave yourself”

Then magic like I’ve never seen before
I’m lifting beyond limitation’s door
I say to Spirit, “Have I passed away?
Because, If I have, it’s really okay”

Spirit is amused by my naivete
Assuring me that ship hasn’t sailed yet
This journey is available to me
When I trust in Spirit’s abilities

I am rising above all that makes sense
From my soul’s temporary residence
I look up ahead, I see where I’ve been
I look side to side from this space I’m in

Everything physical was slowing down
Including that high-pitched vibrating sound
That sound in my ears, that I’ve always heard
That it was Spirit, I’d thought was absurd

As my vibration was harmonizing
Spirit’s world was materializing
I looked at my world that was far below
I seemed to be moving slower than slow

My mind struggled to comprehend all this
But knew to keep quiet or get dismissed
It seemed I was watching a sci-fi show
As souls were appearing I’ve always known

Spirit smiled, “Yes, it would appear that way
Since you’ve reached the level where we vibrate”
We were allowed a brief celebration
Honoring this reunification

I was then taken to a quiet place
Where stacks upon stacks of thick files were laid
I looked at Spirit quizzically
“What do all these files have to do with me?”

I envisioned a clerical project
A tedious task I’d love to forget
I heard, “These files hold handed down beliefs
They’ve grown, in your mind, like unruly weeds

“These files have taken quite a bit of space
To create some room, they should be erased
We’ll leave you alone, take time to peruse
To retain or discard, it’s yours to choose”

Every file came to the same conclusion
Providing me this altered illusion:
There’s limits to the goodness I receive
Those I trust told me, therefore, I believe

When Spirit returned, my task was complete
I said, “None of these truths empower me!
But they’ve lived with me for such a long time
I’m frightened to let go, I don’t know why!”

Spirit said, “You’ll be fine, we’ll take it slow
Little by little, we’ll let it all go
Life’s quality will gradually improve
You’ll barely see it happening to you”

The time had come to return to my life
I slowly descended from Spirit’s light
I noticed the pace in this lower sphere
Accelerated substantially here

Though tempted to slip into my old groove
Recall nudges of what I just went through
I’m so much more than I’ve come to believe
My focus shifts to possibilities

                                                            Jody Nelson
                                                            August 28, 2017


Monday, September 11, 2017

Please Don't Leave

The day came when my hero had to leave
I ran and hugged him, “Daddy, don’t leave me!”
I knew, even then, that his heart was torn
But his course was set before he was born

Everything in all our lives changed that day
In retrospect, it had to be that way
With my childish comprehension of life
I was excited about dad’s new wife

Since Mom had to move many miles away
Visiting us filled his vacation days
Vacation’s sunset drew tears out of me
I’d sob my heart out, “Daddy, please don’t leave”

I remember, my new baby brother
And when I met my awesome step-mother
Our visits were filled with quality time
Memories woven through this life of mine

Our stocking boxes and poker with change
Taco night at the campsite “mama’s” way
He tucked us each in bed when the day’s through
He’d sing to me, “Dream while you’re feeling blue”

My graduation summer, I received
A gift I’ll treasure for eternity
I came to California, to my dad’s
The greatest vacation I could have had

I’d never been in Daddy’s habitat
So it took a bit to get used to that
My little brother, about four or five
Was more fun than I’d before realized

On the way home, when my visit was through
I taught my brother how to tie his shoes
A rite of passage, to show I belong
I learned the California drinking song

My dad’s retired, my brother’s in school
Daddy, not one to follow all the rules
“Why are you requesting your son’s release?”
“The crappie are running, we need to leave!”

Since my teenage job was being reckless,
I moved down with Dad to escape my mess
My hero shared his home and family
Sacrificing their peaceful life for me

There was something I’d not before noticed
Daddy’s charm that nobody could resist
He taught me, “Say kind words as you pass through
Above all others, they’ll remember you”

When fairness seemed to pass over his plate
He spoke words of love and never of hate
He taught me of karma, like what that meant
What I receive reflects that which I sent

Life moved along, my babies, his grand kids
Daddy joined us on our annual trips
His jokes like, “How Long is a China man”
He kept them guessing, me, his greatest fan

When someone had me shaking my head,
My dad would say, “S/he’s young and foolish yet”
(That last quote you need to say with your mouth
To understand what I’m talking about)

One trip my daughter brought her friend that’s hot
We’re all walking across a parking lot
I said to him, “Daddy, are you okay?”
I’ll never forget what he had to say

“I was feeling pretty tired before
But now I’m feeling energized once more
With Michelle walking in front of me
I seem to have a lot more energy!”

As years progressed and Daddy’s health declined
I witnessed the dawning of Spirit’s light
It would take many years for me to see
Long before I did, he believed in me

I sat by his bed, would silently plead
Hoping he’d hear me, “Daddy, please don’t leave”
Mama assured me his time wasn’t yet
“I believe and want you to believe it!”

I did, he stayed with us several more years
With still more for him to accomplish here
He taught me more about the soul’s journey
And helped me analyze what I believe

I’m in that moment I’ve feared all my life
When Daddy’s soul has returned to the light
Every little piece of me wants to scream
Gripped in anguish, “Daddy, why did you leave?”

I sit at my table, begin to write
Without warning, Dad’s hand is guiding mine
He’s nurturing my soul with love and peace
And a calm assurance that he won’t leave

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Thoughts

I was sitting here in contemplation
On this mountain top’s high elevation
Consumed in a thought path that was my own
No clue, at all, that I wasn’t alone

His thoughts startled me from my reverie
Who is this soul I hadn’t before seen?
His thoughts seemed to be all over the place
With a look of frustration on his face

I watched him in quiet observation
I saw the root of his agitation
He was visiting this spiritual sphere
And had no idea how he got here

Spirit places me where I need to be
I could see what was being asked of me
I approached him, “I’m here to assist you
To help you understand what you can do”

My soul chuckled when he spoke with his mouth
“How I arrived here, I can’t figure out
I want to return to my busy life
I keep searching, but there’s no car to drive!”

Damn, I love it when Spirit entrusts me
This is going to be great fun, indeed
“First of all,” I said, “we speak with our thoughts
When you quiet your mouth, you’ll hear a lot”

He, then, looked at me incredulously
“I hear what you’re saying, how can this be?”
I said, “Now you try giving it a shot
Project your next message with just your thoughts”

His eyes closed, I heard, “Can you hear me now?”
I replied in kind, “I can!  Clear and loud!”
I told him, “When we interact this way
With any soul, you can communicate”

His next inquiry was a car to drive
I said, “Why would drive when you can fly?”
His eyes bugged out in complete disbelief
“I see your suggestion, no way, not me!


“When I jump from here, I’ll fall to my death
This is some trickery, on that I’ll bet”
“To earn your complete trust will take some time
You’re influenced by your logical mind

“To show Spirit’s boundless limitation
I’m here to give you a demonstration”
I stood tall, leaned forward, let myself fall
And was flying with no effort at all

Although I had no ambition to stop
I made my way back to the mountain top
He was amazed, “Holy shit!  You can fly!”
I replied, “Yes, now it’s your turn to try!”

I must be convincing, he stood up tall
With little coaxing, he let himself fall
His open mouth let out terrified screams
The physical world could hear through his dreams

I swooped in close, “You’ve got nothing to fear”
He looked over at me, “Thank God you’re here
Please stay beside me to keep me in flight
I can’t do this alone, I’m terrified!”

I moved in front, to his line of vision
To show, between us, there’s no connection
“This is all you, baby, you’re rocking it!”
Astonished, all he said was, “Holy shit!”

He started to relax, began to play
Following earth’s road grids to navigate
I let him travel, for a bit, like this
Before teaching him Spirit’s GPS

Watching him struggle, I said, finally,
“There’s a way to travel efficiently
That lands you quickly on your target spot
You’ll move more easily using your thoughts”

He stopped himself short, “What is this you say?
Is everything here powered in this way?”
It took me a few beats to understand
Then I remembered the logic of man

I stopped and hovered, “Okay, here’s the deal
You already know what I’ll now reveal
Earth is Spirit’s physical creation
Simply a spirit world replication

“Man, over time, has become arrogant
Forgetting the tool, with which we were sent
I won’t lie, your thoughts, friend, are everything
All things revolved around the way you think

I laughed, “Come with me, let’s experiment
We’ll see if we go where your thoughts are sent”
We arrived at his home, I knew we would
Beside his bed, watching him sleep, we stood

He thought, “How is this even possible?
I’m right here, yet there’s my body’s double”
“Again, I’m repeating what you know well
Your body, simply put, is your soul’s shell”

The time had come for his soul to return
As his waking body twisted and turned
He opened his eyes, “What a crazy dream!”
Unaware that he’s still staring at me