Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Predators


I feel like I’ve just entered a fairy tale
As I’m trying to take in each detail
There’s splendor I’ve not realized before
As I journey along this forest floor

Before here, was dark in comparison
Lacking the luster of this location
A place that offered no reason to hope
Where my soul felt abandoned and alone

I’m so enamored I don’t consider
That there could possibly be danger here
Right on cue, my ego awakens
Feeding me that bull shit story again

“Proceed with caution, be very aware
There’s vipers and predators everywhere!
They can sense your insecurity and fear
Since you know you don’t deserve to be here”

But today I sense an intervention
I feel Spirit summons my attention
“Enough is enough, you make us weary
When you believe this destructive story!

“You entered life with a contract in place
Your memory of before was erased
Your desire was to experience
Low self-esteem, self-love and confidence

“From before your birth, you orchestrated
Who will star in this life you created
There were many willing to assist you
Providing you obstacles to work through

“Clearly, this was a challenging lesson
Since it has returned again and again
But life is a gift so don’t waste it
And start rising above all this bull shit

“Those predators and vipers you perceive
Only have power because you believe
That they’re stronger, more powerful than you
And their judgement determines what you do

“But look closer, see them for whom they are
Backup players to support you, the star
Thank them all for playing their roles so well
They were convincing, even to themselves”

I obeyed, one by one I thanked them each
For all their efforts in strengthening me
They worked hard using intimidation
Judgement, mockery and domination

Spirit whispers, “Now look at them once more
See if they appear the same as before”
I do and am alarmed at what I see
Their venom had little to do with me

By putting me down, it made them feel tall
Since, in their eyes, they see themselves as small
If I stayed distracted, I wouldn’t see
That they’re riddled with insecurity

What a messed-up cycle this has become
It’s time to state, “Let this lesson be done”
And now for practical application
I’m given this gift for graduation

I proceed through this forest, cautiously
More than aware of eyes looking at me
I tell myself, “There’s no reason to fear
For I, like them, deserve to pass through here”

Up ahead, I see dancing in the light,
Beautiful beings that gracefully glide
Theirs a gift I’d always admired
But one that my soul never acquired

I stayed in the shadows watching this scene
As musicians began surrounding me
On one side, athletes illuminated
Then singers and many more were highlighted

Then they all stopped as he walked toward me
I felt nervous sitting in this hot seat
He said, “Take a look at everyone here
And know they, too, have experienced fear”

I did, they all appeared so confident
I can’t fathom anything different
“They all arrived in this enchanted place
By overcoming doubts they also faced”

Their heads were all nodding in agreement
“Here they thrive without concern of judgement
Though the gifts you possess may not be theirs
They’re eager for you to join them and share”

They’d all returned to the passion of their souls
Since they believe it, they are beautiful
Their high vibration elevated me
I wanted to join in their reverie

I was handed a pen, began to write
As I, too, found myself in a spotlight
As my fear of other’s judgement withdrew
My ability and confidence grew

Sunday, June 3, 2018

End Before End


I had come for him, but she saw me first
Annoyed at myself, I audibly cursed
She said, “What in the hell are you doing
Sneaking around our home while we’re sleeping?”

I pointed to her form, still deep asleep
“Because you’re very evolved, you see me
I’m a gate guide, but I’ve not come for you
It’s his time and I’ve come to guide him through”

She looked at her partner then back at me
“I know that is true, but I’m not ready
I don’t know if I know what I should do
With the challenge I’m about to go through”

I smiled, gathered her in a deep embrace
Then whispered, “You’ll grow with what you’ll soon face
Though you likely won’t recall what you see
Let your feelings calm your anxiety

“Now, quiet yourself, move deeper inside
While I take you on a spiritual ride”
I waited, holding this high vibration
Rejoiced, when she reached this elevation

A much wiser version of her appeared
The same one that, before there, had lived here
She recognized me, our lights intertwined
We lingered for a period of time

She pulled back, “I know my life is written
And complete revelation is forbidden,
But I’m sure I left a loophole or two
To see a hint of what I’ll soon go through”

I acknowledged she understood it right
It’s why, I now see, we’re here in the light
I’ve never assisted a life preview
But Spirit said, “This is what you must do”

She waited, knowing her recollection
Would appear an encoded edition
I revised the thought I whispered before,
“Let how you feel be your indicator”

I showed an old friend she’s known a long time
Wanting to help and be part of her life
To his dismay, she ventures out, alone
Wanting, needing to do this on her own

Navigating through unexpected grief,
Comprehending this new reality
Becomes an incredible weight to bear
But she must push forward, move on from there

She learns to seek guidance, which way to go
Venturing, bravely, into the unknown
She’ll arrive in places she’s known before
They’ll invite her to visit them once more

Ah, but this time, she’ll have much wiser eyes
See other options she’s not realized
When her journey leads her back to her friend,
She realizes her choice was always him

I watched her light as I closed the preview
She turned toward me with sadness, “Thank you
I’ve seen my life is about to suck ass
But later, I find happiness at last

“This feeling I have, please let me retain
To help me stay strong when my belief wanes”
I replied, “Here’s what I’ll promise to you
It will wait, write it down to refer to”

She understood then said she was ready
To return, next to him, in her body
As we approached, we noticed something strange
Her partner had just witnessed our exchange

There was nothing but love, that he conveyed
As he, too, saw the preview as it played
“Without me, you’ll be allowed to strengthen
Then you’re potential will start flooding in”

There was a sweetness as they said good-bye
Before his transition into the light
He said, “For this life we’ve shared, I thank you
Everything strengthened me that we went through”

This next part, for me, has always been hard
Telling them it was time for them to part
The three of us shifted into her dream
She remained while he departed with me

She watched us as we faded out of sight
Though heartbroken now, she would be alright
She woke from her sleep, his body was dead
Crying, she tried to recall what we’d said

                                            Jody Nelson

Sunday, May 20, 2018

One Last Time


The alarm on her phone began to chime
Indicating it’s time to rise and shine
She lingered a bit in contemplation
Of her dream with the strange visitation

Trying to recall seemed to make it fade
All that was certain, it made her feel great
Like floating on a cloud, wrapped up in love
Ascending higher to somewhere above

Her eyes opened with the snooze alarm sound
Slowly, she sat up, her feet touched the ground
Perplexed, as my thought trickled in her head
“This is the last time you’ll get up from bed”

The thought’s absurdity made her chuckle
Thinking, “If only it were that simple
But my to-do list feels like ten miles long
And, sadly, right here is where I belong”

In the kitchen, she started the coffee
A whisper of thought came, again, from me
“Slow down and savor your last moments here
For the time they’ll be gone is very near”

She took a breath, not wanting to freak out
Hoping this just a prompting to slow down
While the coffee brewed, she meditated
A daily practice, she’s cultivated

I quietly watched her peaceful venture
Calming her mind while watching her breath work
When she was ready to open her eyes
She paused, for I had materialized

“You see me here in this high vibration
Don’t be alarmed by my visitation”
I continued, “Today, I’ll come for you
Be mindful, appreciate all you do”

There was calm, then logic took her away
She shook me off as she began her day
As she showered, I kept nagging her thoughts
“Be present, enjoy this before it’s lost”

Her thoughts shot back at me, “I’m not afraid
I don’t believe you, but I’ll play your game
I’ll appreciate all I’m able to
But know, I still don’t trust or believe you”

She savored the hot water on her skin
And her soap’s sweet smell, as she breathed it in
She dried with her towel, expressed gratitude
For all she has and for all she’s been through

One last time, she chose her clothes, mindfully
“I want to look my best when they find me”
For breakfast, the diet was tossed aside
“I’ll eat what I want since it’s my last time”

She viewed the long list of tasks to complete
Pay bills, laundry, shopping for groceries
Refill a prescription, call the doctor
“Since it’s my last day, this will be ignored”

She called her best friend, “Let’s go out to lunch
To somewhere expensive we don’t go much
Don’t worry about money, it’s my treat”
While thinking, “Since it’s the last time for me”

She scheduled a massage, because why not?
This last day should include time at the spa
She planned nothing further after this treat
That way, she can linger in luxury

“It’s a warm spring day, I think I’ll just walk
And smile at everyone I meet,” she thought
Just before she left, I nudged her once more
“Leave a note before you walk out the door”

She stopped short, “You’re right, I need to do that
He is the best part of this life I’ve had”
She wrote, “I love you, you make me happy
I’ll see you soon, forever yours, love me”

She allowed plenty, so she took her time
The sunshine and gentle breeze felt sublime
Each passerby, she greeted cheerfully
Thought, “In this moment, I feel so happy”

She got to the restaurant with time to spare
So, chose to people-watch while waiting there
Her friend arrived, they dined in decadence
With her friend concerned she’d lost her good sense

Instead of interrupting, to be heard,
She listened, with interest, to her friend’s words
She was genuine when they parted ways
“Know I love you, forever and always”

She savored her massage on this last time
Feeling relaxed from the glass of red wine
She let her thoughts just wander as they may
Questioning, “Is this really my last day?”

During her massage, she pondered again
If this was her last day, how would it end?
Of course, behind that thought, crept in the doubt
“That’s not real, what am I stressing about?”

She left the spa feeling refreshed, renewed
And with less stress on board, a bit subdued
While crossing the street she was unaware
The car turning right, didn’t see her there

While wrapped in my light, she watched it happen
Trying to comprehend this was the end
The driver that blew the stop sign too fast
Which caused her death, would have to live with that

She watched her loved ones before her review
Smiled when they said, “Somehow, I think she knew”
She said, before slipping into the light,
“Thank you, my last day was perfectly right”

                                                       Jody Nelson

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Normal

I stopped, pretended I am who I am
For right now, I don’t adhere to the plan
No schedule, no expectations to meet
Nothing demanding anything of me

What would I truly desire to do
If I left my life, completely withdrew?
What if fear of judgement wasn’t a thing?
Would it alter the way I am living?

What of fear of failure, does that play in?
What if that concept, too, came to an end?
What if there is hidden strength inside me
That I’ve ignored, opting for what’s easy?

I felt Spirit’s nudging, “Go on, explore
The true you should no longer be ignored”
There’s a sudden surge of motivation
In continuing this exploration

So, which desires are hard-wired in
And which have been programmed expectations?
Are they my expectations or another’s
Or my perception that they’re another’s

Each segment of my life I examine
I see I’ve abandoned me to fit in
To the point where I’m completely unsure
What’s me?  What’s not?  The lines have been blurred

I feel Spirit sensing I’m overwhelmed
“Quiet, with patience, your truth will be found
It took your lifetime to make you this way
Change will require more than one day

“To unveil who it is you truly are,
Looking behind you is not where you start
And the path ahead has no guarantees
Where you begin, is in this breath you breathe

“What you’re doing, right now, does it bring joy
Or are you resentful, angry, annoyed?
Examine your emotions, how you feel
Anything, but joy, keeps your truth concealed

“Though you’re all one, each soul has uniqueness
Which only means normal doesn’t exist
The concept of normal is ignorance
And pushes everything out of balance

“There’s illustrations of this everywhere
Control strengthens when concepts are shared
Nutrition, medicine, education
And what to believe through religion

“Know, at first, you’ll be met with resistance
But don’t give in, maintain your persistence
‘Let your freak flag fly high,’ the saying goes
Where you honor your truth, happiness flows

                                      Jody Nelson



Thursday, February 8, 2018

Unbelievable Truth


The following is not meant to judge, blame or offend.  It is merely a reflection of my evolution to an older, wiser woman

The truth is not always convenient
Each perspective can appear different
When each party chooses to stand their ground
Anger and resentment often abound

As I child, I thought my mom a monster
As a teen, I believed I hated her
I was sure my punishments were unjust
Since I’m adopted, she must hate my guts

Enlightenment came as a child one day
My partner’s daughter stepped on my pathway
I was ill prepared for a parent role
And failed miserably, or so I’m told

I birthed one girl, adopted another
To each, my title held the word “mother”
As time passed, I understood my mom more
Becoming a mom had evened the score

My girls have each come to me as adults
Feeding me servings of parenting guilt
I want to dispute each one’s perspective
But realize that my words aren’t effective

Recently, in our phone conversation,
My mom said, “I tried hard, but I’m human
I made mistakes that I regret deeply”
Showing another perspective to me

Some days were rough, and some were amazing
My temper flared up over many things
Perhaps I was tired or really stressed
My coping skills, probably not the best

The youngest is my adopted daughter
Who portrays me an absolute monster
My perspective is very different
Perhaps I gained momentum as I went?

She just had her first, so now they’re all moms
I wish them well as I pass the baton
They still harbor resentment in degrees
The youngest swears she’ll never be like me

Perhaps my example will break the chain
They’ll parent their children the perfect way
Their children will only recall the good
Their parenting won’t be misunderstood

For the record, I have four boys as well
Who each did their share of making life hell
But none of them have ever shared with me
Their own perspective of disharmony

The unbelievable truth, we’re human
Perception clashes are bound to happen
I bow to my mother who did her best
Who raised four children with single-mom stress

I turn to my daughters, bow to them too
Pray, though they will, your kids never judge you
For the mistakes I made, I apologize
Perhaps, my perspective they’ll realize


                                                       Jody Nelson

Thursday, January 4, 2018

This Photograph

This photograph’s never been taken
Nor has its story ever been written
This snapshot from here, observing below
While co-creating of how it will go

She approached me before she left here
With a proposition for me to hear
“I need help, I was directed to you
To help me with something I need to do”

I watched her, noticing her nervousness
Whatever this is, it’s causing distress
I truly adore this sister of mine
Our souls have bonded throughout all of time

“What I’m offering, for us, will be rough
You want to know not feeling good enough
Your desired challenge to overcome
Your life could start as the discarded one

“You see, my desire, to know heartbreak
Pressure to give someone I love away
To be forced to make a hard decision
Then free myself from an anguished prison”

I’d already perceived what she wanted
But part of her journey was to say it
“In the event I don’t turn this around,
Will you be my daughter I adopt out?”

I’d worked hard, my Earth-life was pre-designed
Her scenario worked perfect with mine
I hugged my sister, “Of course I’ll do this
I trust no one else to give me this test”

I missed her when it was her time to go
I watched her navigate her life below
Everything for my debut was aligned
A passionate moment at the right time

As my body was beginning to grow,
I visited often to say, “Hello”
I held my tormented mom in her dreams
While she lamented about losing me

The time of my body’s birth had arrived
I witnessed it from my home in the light
She’s not solidified her decision
My destiny had unclear direction

She closed her eyes, slipped into a deep sleep
Her sad soul ventured out in search of me
I’d been out doing my spiritual chores
When I saw her arrive through Spirit’s door

I laughed when she scolded me, “What the hell?
You’re supposed to be in the hospital!”
“I find it boring to be a baby,”
I said, “The Spirit plane better suits me”

She shook her head, trying to hide a smile
“Just know, this is how you’ll know you’re my child
Your dreams will show things before they happen
When intuition speaks, you must listen

“As you know, these are gifts I possess too
And to show my love, I gift them to you”
I looked at her, “Your decision’s been made
I know you’ve already sent me away”

With no more control, she burst into tears
“Your life is starting, you shouldn’t be here”
I hugged her, “We will always have this space
Promise me, we’ll meet often in this place”

She nodded, “Every year, on your birthday
Our souls will connect in this special way”
I tearfully hugged my sister good-bye
And journeyed to earth to begin my life

Although it has faded over the years,
This photo reminds me of why I’m here
My life provided opportunities
In abundance, of my lacking for me

Life kicked my ass and almost took me down
She came when she was no longer around
She picked me up, said, “You were there for me
Consider this my opportunity

“Don’t you ever forget where you came from
When I fell apart, you stayed the strong one
Thinking you’re not good enough is bull shit
You’re a spirit goddess, so act like it”

This last chapter is still being written
I’m working hard to give it a great end
As I tuck this photo back in my thoughts,
I’m grateful for the memory it brought

                                                            Jody Nelson