Predators

I feel like I’ve just entered a fairy tale

As I’m trying to take in each detail

There’s splendor I’ve not realized before

As I journey along this forest floor

Before here, was dark in comparison

Lacking the luster of this location

A place that offered no reason to hope

Where my soul felt abandoned and alone

I’m so enamored I don’t consider

That there could possibly be danger here

Right on cue, my ego awakens

Feeding me that bull shit story again

“Proceed with caution, be very aware

There’s vipers and predators everywhere!

They can sense your insecurity and fear

Since you know you don’t deserve to be here”

But today I sense an intervention

I feel Spirit summons my attention

“Enough is enough, you make us weary

When you believe this destructive story!

“You entered life with a contract in place

Your memory of before was erased

Your desire was to experience

Low self-esteem, self-love and confidence

“From before your birth, you orchestrated

Who will star in this life you created

There were many willing to assist you

Providing you obstacles to work through

“Clearly, this was a challenging lesson

Since it has returned again and again

But life is a gift so don’t waste it

And start rising above all this bull shit

“Those predators and vipers you perceive

Only have power because you believe

That they’re stronger, more powerful than you

And their judgement determines what you do

“But look closer, see them for whom they are

Backup players to support you, the star

Thank them all for playing their roles so well

They were convincing, even to themselves”

I obeyed, one by one I thanked them each

For all their efforts in strengthening me

They worked hard using intimidation

Judgement, mockery and domination

Spirit whispers, “Now look at them once more

See if they appear the same as before”

I do and am alarmed at what I see

Their venom had little to do with me

By putting me down, it made them feel tall

Since, in their eyes, they see themselves as small

If I stayed distracted, I wouldn’t see

That they’re riddled with insecurity

What a messed-up cycle this has become

It’s time to state, “Let this lesson be done”

And now for practical application

I’m given this gift for graduation

I proceed through this forest, cautiously

More than aware of eyes looking at me

I tell myself, “There’s no reason to fear

For I, like them, deserve to pass through here”

Up ahead, I see dancing in the light,

Beautiful beings that gracefully glide

Theirs a gift I’d always admired

But one that my soul never acquired

I stayed in the shadows watching this scene

As musicians began surrounding me

On one side, athletes illuminated

Then singers and many more were highlighted

Then they all stopped as he walked toward me

I felt nervous sitting in this hot seat

He said, “Take a look at everyone here

And know they, too, have experienced fear”

I did, they all appeared so confident

I can’t fathom anything different

“They all arrived in this enchanted place

By overcoming doubts they also faced”

Their heads were all nodding in agreement

“Here they thrive without concern of judgement

Though the gifts you possess may not be theirs

They’re eager for you to join them and share”

They’d all returned to the passion of their souls

Since they believe it, they are beautiful

Their high vibration elevated me

I wanted to join in their reverie

I was handed a pen, began to write

As I, too, found myself in a spotlight

As my fear of other’s judgement withdrew

My ability and confidence grew

End Before End

I had come for him, but she saw me first

Annoyed at myself, I audibly cursed

She said, “What in the hell are you doing

Sneaking around our home while we’re sleeping?”

I pointed to her form, still deep asleep

“Because you’re very evolved, you see me

I’m a gate guide, but I’ve not come for you

It’s his time and I’ve come to guide him through”

She looked at her partner then back at me

“I know that is true, but I’m not ready

I don’t know if I know what I should do

With the challenge I’m about to go through”

I smiled, gathered her in a deep embrace

Then whispered, “You’ll grow with what you’ll soon face

Though you likely won’t recall what you see

Let your feelings calm your anxiety

“Now, quiet yourself, move deeper inside

While I take you on a spiritual ride”

I waited, holding this high vibration

Rejoiced, when she reached this elevation

A much wiser version of her appeared

The same one that, before there, had lived here

She recognized me, our lights intertwined

We lingered for a period of time

She pulled back, “I know my life is written

And complete revelation is forbidden,

But I’m sure I left a loophole or two

To see a hint of what I’ll soon go through”

I acknowledged she understood it right

It’s why, I now see, we’re here in the light

I’ve never assisted a life preview

But Spirit said, “This is what you must do”

She waited, knowing her recollection

Would appear an encoded edition

I revised the thought I whispered before,

“Let how you feel be your indicator”

I showed an old friend she’s known a long time

Wanting to help and be part of her life

To his dismay, she ventures out, alone

Wanting, needing to do this on her own

Navigating through unexpected grief,

Comprehending this new reality

Becomes an incredible weight to bear

But she must push forward, move on from there

She learns to seek guidance, which way to go

Venturing, bravely, into the unknown

She’ll arrive in places she’s known before

They’ll invite her to visit them once more

Ah, but this time, she’ll have much wiser eyes

See other options she’s not realized

When her journey leads her back to her friend,

She realizes her choice was always him

I watched her light as I closed the preview

She turned toward me with sadness, “Thank you

I’ve seen my life is about to suck ass

But later, I find happiness at last

“This feeling I have, please let me retain

To help me stay strong when my belief wanes”

I replied, “Here’s what I’ll promise to you

It will wait, write it down to refer to”

She understood then said she was ready

To return, next to him, in her body

As we approached, we noticed something strange

Her partner had just witnessed our exchange

There was nothing but love, that he conveyed

As he, too, saw the preview as it played

“Without me, you’ll be allowed to strengthen

Then you’re potential will start flooding in”

There was a sweetness as they said good-bye

Before his transition into the light

He said, “For this life we’ve shared, I thank you

Everything strengthened me that we went through”

This next part, for me, has always been hard

Telling them it was time for them to part

The three of us shifted into her dream

She remained while he departed with me

She watched us as we faded out of sight

Though heartbroken now, she would be alright

She woke from her sleep, his body was dead

Crying, she tried to recall what we’d said

                                            Jody Nelson

One Last Time

The alarm on her phone began to chime

Indicating it’s time to rise and shine

She lingered a bit in contemplation

Of her dream with the strange visitation

Trying to recall seemed to make it fade

All that was certain, it made her feel great

Like floating on a cloud, wrapped up in love

Ascending higher to somewhere above

Her eyes opened with the snooze alarm sound

Slowly, she sat up, her feet touched the ground

Perplexed, as my thought trickled in her head

“This is the last time you’ll get up from bed”

The thought’s absurdity made her chuckle

Thinking, “If only it were that simple

But my to-do list feels like ten miles long

And, sadly, right here is where I belong”

In the kitchen, she started the coffee

A whisper of thought came, again, from me

“Slow down and savor your last moments here

For the time they’ll be gone is very near”

She took a breath, not wanting to freak out

Hoping this just a prompting to slow down

While the coffee brewed, she meditated

A daily practice, she’s cultivated

I quietly watched her peaceful venture

Calming her mind while watching her breath work

When she was ready to open her eyes

She paused, for I had materialized

“You see me here in this high vibration

Don’t be alarmed by my visitation”

I continued, “Today, I’ll come for you

Be mindful, appreciate all you do”

There was calm, then logic took her away

She shook me off as she began her day

As she showered, I kept nagging her thoughts

“Be present, enjoy this before it’s lost”

Her thoughts shot back at me, “I’m not afraid

I don’t believe you, but I’ll play your game

I’ll appreciate all I’m able to

But know, I still don’t trust or believe you”

She savored the hot water on her skin

And her soap’s sweet smell, as she breathed it in

She dried with her towel, expressed gratitude

For all she has and for all she’s been through

One last time, she chose her clothes, mindfully

“I want to look my best when they find me”

For breakfast, the diet was tossed aside

“I’ll eat what I want since it’s my last time”

She viewed the long list of tasks to complete

Pay bills, laundry, shopping for groceries

Refill a prescription, call the doctor

“Since it’s my last day, this will be ignored”

She called her best friend, “Let’s go out to lunch

To somewhere expensive we don’t go much

Don’t worry about money, it’s my treat”

While thinking, “Since it’s the last time for me”

She scheduled a massage, because why not?

This last day should include time at the spa

She planned nothing further after this treat

That way, she can linger in luxury

“It’s a warm spring day, I think I’ll just walk

And smile at everyone I meet,” she thought

Just before she left, I nudged her once more

“Leave a note before you walk out the door”

She stopped short, “You’re right, I need to do that

He is the best part of this life I’ve had”

She wrote, “I love you, you make me happy

I’ll see you soon, forever yours, love me”

She allowed plenty, so she took her time

The sunshine and gentle breeze felt sublime

Each passerby, she greeted cheerfully

Thought, “In this moment, I feel so happy”

She got to the restaurant with time to spare

So, chose to people-watch while waiting there

Her friend arrived, they dined in decadence

With her friend concerned she’d lost her good sense

Instead of interrupting, to be heard,

She listened, with interest, to her friend’s words

She was genuine when they parted ways

“Know I love you, forever and always”

She savored her massage on this last time

Feeling relaxed from the glass of red wine

She let her thoughts just wander as they may

Questioning, “Is this really my last day?”

During her massage, she pondered again

If this was her last day, how would it end?

Of course, behind that thought, crept in the doubt

“That’s not real, what am I stressing about?”

She left the spa feeling refreshed, renewed

And with less stress on board, a bit subdued

While crossing the street she was unaware

The car turning right, didn’t see her there

While wrapped in my light, she watched it happen

Trying to comprehend this was the end

The driver that blew the stop sign too fast

Which caused her death, would have to live with that

She watched her loved ones before her review

Smiled when they said, “Somehow, I think she knew”

She said, before slipping into the light,

“Thank you, my last day was perfectly right”

                                                       Jody Nelson

Normal

I stopped, pretended I am who I am

For right now, I don’t adhere to the plan

No schedule, no expectations to meet

Nothing demanding anything of me

What would I truly desire to do

If I left my life, completely withdrew?

What if fear of judgement wasn’t a thing?

Would it alter the way I am living?

What of fear of failure, does that play in?

What if that concept, too, came to an end?

What if there is hidden strength inside me

That I’ve ignored, opting for what’s easy?

I felt Spirit’s nudging, “Go on, explore

The true you should no longer be ignored”

There’s a sudden surge of motivation

In continuing this exploration

So, which desires are hard-wired in

And which have been programmed expectations?

Are they my expectations or another’s

Or my perception that they’re another’s

Each segment of my life I examine

I see I’ve abandoned me to fit in

To the point where I’m completely unsure

What’s me?  What’s not?  The lines have been blurred

I feel Spirit sensing I’m overwhelmed

“Quiet, with patience, your truth will be found

It took your lifetime to make you this way

Change will require more than one day

“To unveil who it is you truly are,

Looking behind you is not where you start

And the path ahead has no guarantees

Where you begin, is in this breath you breathe

“What you’re doing, right now, does it bring joy

Or are you resentful, angry, annoyed?

Examine your emotions, how you feel

Anything, but joy, keeps your truth concealed

“Though you’re all one, each soul has uniqueness

Which only means normal doesn’t exist

The concept of normal is ignorance

And pushes everything out of balance

“There’s illustrations of this everywhere

Control strengthens when concepts are shared

Nutrition, medicine, education

And what to believe through religion

“Know, at first, you’ll be met with resistance

But don’t give in, maintain your persistence

‘Let your freak flag fly high,’ the saying goes

Where you honor your truth, happiness flows

                                      Jody Nelson

Unbelievable Truth

The following is not meant to judge, blame or offend.  It is merely a reflection of my evolution to an older, wiser woman

The truth is not always convenient

Each perspective can appear different

When each party chooses to stand their ground

Anger and resentment often abound

As I child, I thought my mom a monster

As a teen, I believed I hated her

I was sure my punishments were unjust

Since I’m adopted, she must hate my guts

Enlightenment came as a child one day

My partner’s daughter stepped on my pathway

I was ill prepared for a parent role

And failed miserably, or so I’m told

I birthed one girl, adopted another

To each, my title held the word “mother”

As time passed, I understood my mom more

Becoming a mom had evened the score

My girls have each come to me as adults

Feeding me servings of parenting guilt

I want to dispute each one’s perspective

But realize that my words aren’t effective

Recently, in our phone conversation,

My mom said, “I tried hard, but I’m human

I made mistakes that I regret deeply”

Showing another perspective to me

Some days were rough, and some were amazing

My temper flared up over many things

Perhaps I was tired or really stressed

My coping skills, probably not the best

The youngest is my adopted daughter

Who portrays me an absolute monster

My perspective is very different

Perhaps I gained momentum as I went?

She just had her first, so now they’re all moms

I wish them well as I pass the baton

They still harbor resentment in degrees

The youngest swears she’ll never be like me

Perhaps my example will break the chain

They’ll parent their children the perfect way

Their children will only recall the good

Their parenting won’t be misunderstood

For the record, I have four boys as well

Who each did their share of making life hell

But none of them have ever shared with me

Their own perspective of disharmony

The unbelievable truth, we’re human

Perception clashes are bound to happen

I bow to my mother who did her best

Who raised four children with single-mom stress

I turn to my daughters, bow to them too

Pray, though they will, your kids never judge you

For the mistakes I made, I apologize

Perhaps, my perspective they’ll realize

                                                       Jody Nelson

This Photograph

This photograph’s never been taken

Nor has its story ever been written

This snapshot from here, observing below

While co-creating of how it will go

She approached me before she left here

With a proposition for me to hear

“I need help, I was directed to you

To help me with something I need to do”

I watched her, noticing her nervousness

Whatever this is, it’s causing distress

I truly adore this sister of mine

Our souls have bonded throughout all of time

“What I’m offering, for us, will be rough

You want to know not feeling good enough

Your desired challenge to overcome

Your life could start as the discarded one

“You see, my desire, to know heartbreak

Pressure to give someone I love away

To be forced to make a hard decision

Then free myself from an anguished prison”

I’d already perceived what she wanted

But part of her journey was to say it

“In the event I don’t turn this around,

Will you be my daughter I adopt out?”

I’d worked hard, my Earth-life was pre-designed

Her scenario worked perfect with mine

I hugged my sister, “Of course I’ll do this

I trust no one else to give me this test”

I missed her when it was her time to go

I watched her navigate her life below

Everything for my debut was aligned

A passionate moment at the right time

As my body was beginning to grow,

I visited often to say, “Hello”

I held my tormented mom in her dreams

While she lamented about losing me

The time of my body’s birth had arrived

I witnessed it from my home in the light

She’s not solidified her decision

My destiny had unclear direction

She closed her eyes, slipped into a deep sleep

Her sad soul ventured out in search of me

I’d been out doing my spiritual chores

When I saw her arrive through Spirit’s door

I laughed when she scolded me, “What the hell?

You’re supposed to be in the hospital!”

“I find it boring to be a baby,”

I said, “The Spirit plane better suits me”

She shook her head, trying to hide a smile

“Just know, this is how you’ll know you’re my child

Your dreams will show things before they happen

When intuition speaks, you must listen

“As you know, these are gifts I possess too

And to show my love, I gift them to you”

I looked at her, “Your decision’s been made

I know you’ve already sent me away”

With no more control, she burst into tears

“Your life is starting, you shouldn’t be here”

I hugged her, “We will always have this space

Promise me, we’ll meet often in this place”

She nodded, “Every year, on your birthday

Our souls will connect in this special way”

I tearfully hugged my sister good-bye

And journeyed to earth to begin my life

Although it has faded over the years,

This photo reminds me of why I’m here

My life provided opportunities

In abundance, of my lacking for me

Life kicked my ass and almost took me down

She came when she was no longer around

She picked me up, said, “You were there for me

Consider this my opportunity

“Don’t you ever forget where you came from

When I fell apart, you stayed the strong one

Thinking you’re not good enough is bull shit

You’re a spirit goddess, so act like it”

This last chapter is still being written

I’m working hard to give it a great end

As I tuck this photo back in my thoughts,

I’m grateful for the memory it brought

                                                            Jody Nelson