Monday, September 11, 2017

Please Don't Leave

The day came when my hero had to leave
I ran and hugged him, “Daddy, don’t leave me!”
I knew, even then, that his heart was torn
But his course was set before he was born

Everything in all our lives changed that day
In retrospect, it had to be that way
With my childish comprehension of life
I was excited about dad’s new wife

Since Mom had to move many miles away
Visiting us filled his vacation days
Vacation’s sunset drew tears out of me
I’d sob my heart out, “Daddy, please don’t leave”

I remember, my new baby brother
And when I met my awesome step-mother
Our visits were filled with quality time
Memories woven through this life of mine

Our stocking boxes and poker with change
Taco night at the campsite “mama’s” way
He tucked us each in bed when the day’s through
He’d sing to me, “Dream while you’re feeling blue”

My graduation summer, I received
A gift I’ll treasure for eternity
I came to California, to my dad’s
The greatest vacation I could have had

I’d never been in Daddy’s habitat
So it took a bit to get used to that
My little brother, about four or five
Was more fun than I’d before realized

On the way home, when my visit was through
I taught my brother how to tie his shoes
A rite of passage, to show I belong
I learned the California drinking song

My dad’s retired, my brother’s in school
Daddy, not one to follow all the rules
“Why are you requesting your son’s release?”
“The crappie are running, we need to leave!”

Since my teenage job was being reckless,
I moved down with Dad to escape my mess
My hero shared his home and family
Sacrificing their peaceful life for me

There was something I’d not before noticed
Daddy’s charm that nobody could resist
He taught me, “Say kind words as you pass through
Above all others, they’ll remember you”

When fairness seemed to pass over his plate
He spoke words of love and never of hate
He taught me of karma, like what that meant
What I receive reflects that which I sent

Life moved along, my babies, his grand kids
Daddy joined us on our annual trips
His jokes like, “How Long is a China man”
He kept them guessing, me, his greatest fan

When someone had me shaking my head,
My dad would say, “S/he’s young and foolish yet”
(That last quote you need to say with your mouth
To understand what I’m talking about)

One trip my daughter brought her friend that’s hot
We’re all walking across a parking lot
I said to him, “Daddy, are you okay?”
I’ll never forget what he had to say

“I was feeling pretty tired before
But now I’m feeling energized once more
With Michelle walking in front of me
I seem to have a lot more energy!”

As years progressed and Daddy’s health declined
I witnessed the dawning of Spirit’s light
It would take many years for me to see
Long before I did, he believed in me

I sat by his bed, would silently plead
Hoping he’d hear me, “Daddy, please don’t leave”
Mama assured me his time wasn’t yet
“I believe and want you to believe it!”

I did, he stayed with us several more years
With still more for him to accomplish here
He taught me more about the soul’s journey
And helped me analyze what I believe

I’m in that moment I’ve feared all my life
When Daddy’s soul has returned to the light
Every little piece of me wants to scream
Gripped in anguish, “Daddy, why did you leave?”

I sit at my table, begin to write
Without warning, Dad’s hand is guiding mine
He’s nurturing my soul with love and peace
And a calm assurance that he won’t leave

2 comments:

  1. My sweet banode, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. My heart aches for you. I wish I could take your pain away, be there for you like you were for me. You are so much stronger than you even know. Please have faith and know that you are not alone. He is so much a part of you and has always been so proud. I could see it in the way he looks at you--his eyes sparkled at the beautiful family you created. Youll make it through this, I promise. I'm here if you ever need me.

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